“Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfection.” – Anonymous
This post is something that took me a couple of weeks to write. There are things that many people outside my family do not know about me, and I wanted to include them in this post so you guys can really get to know who I am on a personal level. I told myself to be as honest and genuine as I can be when I first started this blog. I’m putting my life out there in the open for everyone to read. Everyone has a story, and this is mine.
Growing up I was always the tallest in my class, even taller than the boys. I never really liked my height, I actually hated it. Most of the time I would wake up for school with the hope I would be the same height as everyone else. Once I reached middle school I didn’t care as much because boys got taller and so did some of the girls.
Once I turned 15, I grew into my body and wasn’t a double zero anymore, shocker. I never really thought much about my body/weight until I started modeling. It’s not that I ate bad or didn’t care, I just didn’t think about my body much when I was 15. After I signed my first modeling contracts in New York, my whole perspective on my body changed. I will never forget the first time I had my measurements taken. Standing there at 15 years old, in a bathing suit, in front of a whole team of people I didn’t even know is something that will stay with me forever. Even though I was young and new to the industry it was easy to see I didn’t fit the mold. The words “you can’t work until you’re measurements are smaller” still plays over and over in my head. I wasn’t even 16 and felt like a fish out of water in New York, I knew nothing about the industry and felt completely worthless at that moment. I wished I was the girl who blew up instantly and worked for everyone, but I wasn’t. Right then I decided I would dedicate the next 6 months of my life to working out and eating right in hopes that I would start working. To be honest I was scared, and more so embarrassed. People always told me how tough this industry was and I never took it to heart until then. My parents always said, “you have to have tough skin”, if anyone knows me; I’m a pretty sensitive person. Let me tell you this journey was a struggle, none of it came easily to me. I sometimes felt depressed, angry and most of all, frustrated. It was all I thought about for months and months, but one day I realized I wasn’t going to get anywhere without being happy and loving myself first.
Fast forward to 2016, I’ve moved out of my house after graduating high school 2 and a half years ago, lived in Chicago, Europe and now the toughest city in the world; New York. I’ve signed with agencies internationally, been featured in and on a lot of magazines. But most importantly I’ve met some of the most amazing people and worked for the most amazing clients. I live a life most people dream about, and you want to know why? I never gave up; I never let someone tell me that I couldn’t do something because I “was too big”. With hard work, dedication and perseverance I came out stronger than I ever was before. Even though I sometimes compare myself to others, I remind myself that nobody is like me. It’s always important to love yourself and your body. Easier said than done, trust me I know that and it took me a long time to get to where I am now. Don’t ever think that you and your imperfections aren’t enough. There is NO definition of perfect! We all struggle at some point in our lives, and I’m here to tell you that its okay, so go and do whatever you set your mind to and never give up. You can and will achieve your goals but let me tell you that there are going to be many obstacles in your way. As my dad always told me, if you can dream it, believe it, you can achieve it. And that’s the damn truth.
XX- The SB
p.s. – Be confident, and be you.